One of my favourite bloggers was just accredited with her Master of Arts Degree. She is getting lots of congratulations for it. But I am ambivalent about whether to offer mine. Part of me thinks I should be jealous, I tried, but I'm not.
I cannot claim any roaring outward success that makes completing a BA look like a small feat. I appreciate that it is hard work. Nor is it the situation that I never saw myself in such a situation. For most of my life I assumed I would be a high ranking academic. I credit the jarring transition from high school to university for breaking this assumption.
I find I don't even respect academics. There are a few academics that I happen to respect, Rebekah being one of them. I might even respect her a little less now knowing this about her. I also don't like smokers, even if they don't smoke around me. What they do is give money to a machine that is going to try to get my kids to smoke. I see academics as spiting themselves to prop up broken institutions.
To this day I love to learn. I'm sure I do a little bit of research 5 day of every week. Rather than pursuing academic ends I have followed my curiosity. I have meditated long and deep about value, trade, money, communication, relationships, patterns. I can only imagine how the insights I have accumulated will be put to used, and are being put to use.
I've never been able to find adequate words for my feeling toward academia.